'My mental health was at an all-time low'

He’s attended the Brit awards in London twice and Platinum Live, the public relations business he started four years ago when he was just 16, now employs six staff, has a projected £500,000 turnover next year and is about to open a Manchester office alongside its Whitehaven headquarters.

Quite a success story for an entrepreneur of any age but perhaps even more remarkable for one who has just celebrated his 21st birthday. Then last December Oliver Hodgson tried to end his life at Whitehaven harbour.

“Family life was building up, at work one big project finished and you are onto the next straightaway. It was a busy and hectic personal life, it took its toll. My mental health was at an all-time low. I wasn’t there for my family and that suffered when people in my family started becoming ill,” he says.

“The pressure mounted and it hit crisis point and I was in and out of the GP surgery. I’d hid it from the late summer, the best part of four months. Then it was at crisis point. I am an expert at masking things. When I picked up the in-Cumbria award in November I was at my lowest point and I masked it and I don’t think anyone knew,” he says.  A few weeks  later he tried to kill himself.

“I drove to the harbour from Gosforth. The harbour has always been a special place for me. I can remember being on the phone to the crisis team, they were there for me. The last 12 months had been extremely difficult, I spent time in Carlton Clinic in Carlisle and I tried to take time out of the business.

“Whilst I am really privileged to run a business, when you become ill it can become extremely challenging. I don’t think self-employed people get enough credit for when they become ill, it’s incredibly hard to switch off.  I have pressing mental health issues but I also have staff who need to pay their mortgages and put dinner on their table. That was really real for me.

“Many of my clients reached out to me and opened up about their mental health. That’s why I’ll never shy away from talking because I think having these conversations are important. When I hear other people’s stories it makes me realise I’m not alone.

“I wish people would speak more about this. People talk about other difficulties but I think in Cumbria it’s about getting on with the job and masking things. Particularly men, men don’t speak enough. We are in a rural community, very quiet. It’s great, but sometimes I can feel socially isolated. Say you run a really busy business and then you go home and you’re in the middle of nowhere, for some people that’s zen and for others it’s too much time to think.

“It’s important to slow down a bit and concentrate on important things. It was a culmination of things and on a personal level I suffer from body dysmorphia which stems from school. I’m not your typical lad, I didn’t play rugby or football, I don’t like the way I look but I mask that with an incredibly confident front. I’ve always questioned myself, my mind, my ability.

“Gen Z is definitely not about creating businesses where people are steam engines producing work. We have very open dialogues in our office… and it’s only if people are comfortable doing so. Dialogue is incredibly important and it’s more than a LinkedIn post saying you are supporting Mental Health Week.”

“Business is business and we are here to do a job but we are also humans and I think talking about mental health is incredibly important because you don’t know when they can help you and you can help them. I don’t go talking to all my clients about it but we are a business that is a very pro-mental health organisation. We have mental health days when people want them, no questions asked. We also have an open dialogue in the office if people are comfortable doing so. How can we help?

“To be an inspiring leader you have got to be open. There are many leaders out there with incredibly more stressful businesses to run than I have, much bigger headcounts and they mask their problems. I wouldn’t have ended up in the position I was in December if I had spoken in late summer and sought help. It’s so important for people to spot in themselves the point where it’s going to get worse and worse if they don’t seek help.

“Mental ill health is something we have to all keep an eye on. I’m better than I was in December and January but that doesn’t mean I neglect my mental health now, it’s also okay not to be okay.”

He says now he has time to focus on himself, his family and his business, Platinum Live. “Everything I have is in Platinum Live, it’s my baby. I eat, live and breathe it, at weekends, at night, it’s everything I have and I wouldn’t change that for the world. I love it, the people, the clients, the journey I have been on. I started the business with £25, you take Platinum Live away from me and I have nothing.

“Nobody in my family has ever run a business, although my mum was one of the first female firefighters in the county and my dad works in the nuclear industry,” he says.

He started suffering with mental health problems at school which eventually led to him leaving early when he refused to go back. “Dropping out of school early was unheard of for my family. I just didn’t fit in at school,” he says. “I’m not anti-establishment, but people often think I am.

“In terms of dreams coming true, what we have achieved in the past four years is beyond my dreams. I can get on stage in front of hundreds of people and deliver keynote speeches and I don’t mind that but inside I am riddled with self confidence issues and anxiety and I don’t show it. My flamboyance masks it.”